


One Foot in Front of the Other

by GinnyK



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-11-07
Updated: 2002-11-07
Packaged: 2019-05-31 04:50:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15112136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GinnyK/pseuds/GinnyK
Summary: As the anniversary of the shooting approaches Josh is having a rough time.





	One Foot in Front of the Other

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**One Foot in Front of the Other**

**by:** Ginny

**Pairing/Characters:** Josh/Donna  
**Rating:** YTEEN  
**Series:** 1st in the Picking Up the Pieces series  
**Disclaimer:** They're not mine, nor do I expect to get them as a birthday present tomorrow. 

It was early on Saturday morning and Donna rolled over in her bed, glanced at the clock and reached for the phone.  Punching in Josh's number she sat up and prepared to deal with her hung over boss.  She waited for 5 rings and was about to hang up and go over there and wake him up in person when she heard him answer.

"Hello" he croaked in the voice of one who had probably spent the previous night abusing his delicate system.

"Good morning Joshua.  And exactly how much did you have to drink last night?" she said just a little louder than she needed to.

"Well, it's morning, I wouldn't say it's good, what time is it?" asked Josh as he rubbed his eyes and tried to focus on the clock next to his bed.  "By the way, I only had one beer with Sam."

"It's 6:00, you have a meeting with Leo at 7:30 and you are having lunch with Matt Skinner, other than that you have a pretty clear Saturday."

She heard Josh moan, not the moaning he usually did when hung over.  This was more a moan of actual pain, not a moan of the one who had too much to drink.

"Josh, you ok?" asked Donna suddenly worried about him.  "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I'm just a little stiff this morning.  I'll be fine after a shower.  I'll see you by 7:00." 

"Take your time, I can stall Leo a little.  You want me to cancel lunch?"

"No, I'm fine" he blurted out a little too harshly.  "Sorry"

"It's ok, see you soon"

Josh hung up and threw himself back on the bed.  The residual stiffness on his right side that had plagued him since the shooting had been making an appearance each morning for the past week or so.  He tried not to make a big deal out of it, he hadn't even mentioned it to Donna until now, but he knew she had been worried about him.  The anniversary of the shooting was rapidly approaching and the stiffness only served as a constant reminder to both of them of how close Josh came to dying.

He sat up again and tried pretty unsuccessfully to stretch away some of the pain.  He limped to the shower and let the hot water loosen things up a bit.  By the time he had thrown on jeans and a shirt his arm was fine but his leg and hip were still bothering him.  And he knew if he was going to limp around all day his back would pay the price by evening.  He went back into the bathroom and swallowed 2 Advil with a handful of water.

Donna arrived at work by 6:45.  She went into Josh's office and stared out the window waiting for his car to pull into the parking lot.  She saw him pull up and get out limping.  She went out to her desk determined not to fuss over him and to let him ask for help.  Like that would happen any time soon.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw him coming through the bullpen.  She tried to look busy and not stare at him as he limped by.  She thought she did a pretty good job but he knew better.  She gave him a minute to settle in and then went in with some notes and her coffee.

"What no coffee for me?" teased Josh.

"Of course not, but since you're not feeling too well, I'll share mine" 

She sat down in the chair across from him and handed him the mug.

"Thanks, and I feel fine." he said without much sincerity.

"You're welcome and don't lie to me.  If you feel fine why are you walking around like an 80 year old?" asked Donna as she raised one eyebrow.

"An 80 year old?  It's not that bad.  But yes, I do admit, I feel like crap this morning." he sighed as he leaned back and put his feet up on the desk.

"This morning? What about the rest of the week?" asked Donna.  She really hadn't planned on laying into him about that but she couldn't let the opportunity pass her by.

"Fine, I confess.  I've had some stiffness this week, happy now?  I've confessed," he snorted as he took another swallow of Donna's coffee.

"Happy, no I'm not happy.  I'll be happy when you ask for help, when you tell me you don't feel well.  Josh you have to ask for help when you need it.  You can't let yourself get so run down.  OK?"

"Donna, please don't start this again" he whined.

"I won't.  Now did you take anything?" asked Donna shifting from annoyed to concerned in a split second.

"Yeah, I took Advil."

"Good, you've got 20 minutes until you meet with Leo.  Just relax.  Do you need anything?"

"No, I'm fine, don't fuss."

"OK"

Donna smiled and held out her hand for her coffee mug.  Josh gave her a famous Lyman dimpled smile as he gulped down the last of the coffee and handed it back to her.

Donna just rolled her eyes and went back to her desk.

Donna spent the next 2 hours working on note cards for Josh and trying to sort through the disaster that was his office.  She had just finished finding the top of his desk when he limped in and dropped down onto the couch without a word.

She tried her best to just let him be for a few minutes but she made the mistake of taking a good look at him.  He was lying there staring at the ceiling, shifting around a bit obviously very uncomfortable.  She walked over and nudged him over a little so she could perch on the edge of the couch.  Josh looked pale, tired and downright miserable. She reached over and felt his forehead.  No fever that was something at least.  She let her hand linger a second before smoothing back a stray lock of hair.

"OK, so I take it the hot shower and the Advil didn't help?"

Josh just shook his head.

"So now we'll try Tylenol and ice.  Stay here I'll be right back.

Josh smiled weakly as she walked down the hall.  Ten minutes later she returned with an ice pack, 2 Tylenol and a bottle of iced tea.  She handed him the pills and opened the bottle for him.  He took the ice pack and put it under his hip.

"You sure you don't want me to cancel lunch with Congressman Skinner?"

"No, I'll be fine.  Hand me those files on my desk and I'll get some reading done while I lie here"

Donna grabbed the files and handed them to him.  She walked towards the door and turned back one last time to look at him.  He smiled and winked.  She closed the door behind her and went back to her own desk.

She worked for a while and then wandered around the West Wing.  It was pretty dead for a Saturday.  The President was in Manchester and Toby was away for the weekend.  She wandered over to Sam's office.  He was on the phone but waved her in.  She sat back on the couch with a sigh.  Sam hung up and sat down on the couch next to her.

"Worried about Josh?" he asked as he leaned over, putting his elbows on his knees and propping his chin on his clasped hands.

"Yeah, the anniversary of the shooting is coming up and I just can't help but worry that all the progress he's made over the past 5 months will just go down the drain."

"Yeah, me too.  I just saw him a little while ago.  He looks like hell, what's wrong?"

"He's been having problems with stiffness in his arm and leg.  He's been trying to hide it."

"That sound like Josh.  Where is he now?"

"He's resting on his couch with 5 pounds of files and an ice pack" said Donna with a smile.  "I'm going to go check on him.  I'll see you later"

She stood and started to leave when Sam called her back.

"Hey Donna, come here"

She walked over to him and he pulled her into a friendly hug.

"You look like you needed that" said Sam with a wink.

"Yeah, I did, thanks"

Donna walked back to Josh's office slowly.  She didn't have a whole lot of work that needed to be done.  She had basically come in today out of habit.  Josh usually insisted that he needed her, even on Saturdays.  When she had heard his voice on the phone there was no other place in the world she would have been.  He did need her today.

She stopped by her desk and grabbed his schedule for the upcoming week to go over with him.  He had a little over an hour before he was scheduled to meet Matt Skinner on the hill.  She opened the door to his office and was just about to say something when she glanced over to the couch.  Josh was sound asleep.  The files were across his chest, on the floor and he was still clutching one in his hand that was hanging off the edge of the couch.  Donna stifled a giggle and removed the papers from on top of him.  Taking the one folder out of his hand she laid his arm across his chest and gave his hand a squeeze.  She sat at his desk and went over his schedule for a few minutes as she got up the energy to wake him.

"Donna?" came a hoarse voice from the couch.

"Yeah" she answered barely looking up from the desk.

"You didn't let me sleep through lunch did you?" asked Josh as he struggled to sit up.

"No, you have 45 minutes"

"Oh, what are you doing"?

"Going over your schedule"

"At my desk?  Keeping an eye on me?" smirked Josh.

"Something like that.  How's the hip?"

"Uh, cold?" 

"Very funny"

Donna grabbed the schedule and sat next to Josh on the couch.  They went over it and talked for a while until Josh decided to try walking around a little.  Donna stood first and held out her hand to help him up.  He started to bat her hand away but then realized he really did need it.  She pulled him up and left him alone.  He paced around his office for a few minutes and then ventured out into the bullpen.  He was humming as he passed by Donna's desk and she could swear he was humming the song about putting one foot in front of the other, from one of the many Christmas specials she made Josh watch this past December.  She smiled to herself and said nothing.

By 3:00 Donna was pretty much bored but she had promised Josh she would stick around until he got back from the hill.  She was beginning to wonder how much longer he would be when the phone rang.

"Josh Lyman's office."

"Donna, it's Matt Skinner"

"Oh, Hi Congressman.  Did Josh forget something?"

"No.  I just wanted to call you and let you know Josh just left here.  He didn't look so good.  Thought you might want to know."

"Did he say if he was coming straight back here?" asked Donna starting to get a little concerned.

"No he didn't.  Wait a minute.  I just stepped outside; I think I see him sitting on the steps.  Yeah, that's him, that hair's kind of hard to miss."

"Yeah it is.  What's he doing?" asked Donna as she started to gather he things to go after her wayward boss.

"Nothing, he's just sitting here, staring out at the reflecting pool.  Should I go see if he is all right?"

"No, thanks Congressman, I'll take it from here.  Thanks for calling"

"No problem. Bye Donna."

Donna grabbed her cell phone from her bag as she exited the building.  She punched in the speedial number for Josh's cell.

"Please answer" she muttered as she tried to decide between walking and driving.  The traffic looked bad and she was wearing sneakers so she figured it would be just as quick, if not quicker to walk.

Josh heard his cell phone ring and for a second he considered just turning it off, but he looked at the readout and recognized Donna's cell phone number.

"Hey Donna"

"Hey yourself?"

"What's up?"

"Nothing, you ok?"

"Yeah, fine.  Just finished lunch.  Where are you?"

"Uh, just outside getting some fresh air.  Where are you?"

"Just about to leave Matt's office."

Liar, she thought to herself.  She picked up the pace and started walking faster towards the Capitol.

"How was your meeting, did you eat?"

"The meeting was fine, and I ate, a little"

"Josh you need to take better care..."

"Donna please, not now." whined Josh.

"OK"

"Donna I know I've been a little moody this week and I while I have you on the phone and I can apologize without having to do it face to face, I would like to say I'm sorry.  I know you're just trying to help."

Donna couldn't help but smile.

"Oh, Joshua...Josh, it's fine.  Don't worry about it.  I know this is a rough time for you, the anniversary of the shooting is coming up, you haven't been feeling well, and things have been more hectic than usual at work.  It's only natural that you would be a little on edge."

"Thanks for understanding"

"Josh you gonna tell me where you really are?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I don't hear any traffic, you can't be driving because you can't shift and hold the phone at the same time.  Your voice isn't fading in and out at all so you're probably not walking around, so spill it"

"I'm sitting here, where it all began" sighed Josh.

OK, Donna thought to herself, where the hell is he, still on the steps of the Capitol?

"Where what began Josh?"

"My brilliant career as Deputy Chief of Staff"

"Brilliant?  Don't you think that's exaggerating things just a bit?" 

Donna couldn't resist teasing him a little.

"Hey, I was shot doing this job"

"I know" she whispered  

She turned the corner and stopped at the reflecting pool to look across it at the steps of the Capitol.  She didn't have to much trouble picking Josh out, he was the one slumped against the wall with his long legs stretched out on the step talking with his hands. He didn't see her come up the walkway.

"You're brilliant career started on the steps of the Capitol?"

"Yeah, hey wait, how did you know, where are you?" he asked glancing up to see her standing in front of him.  She put her phone in her purse and snatched his out of his hand.  She turned it off and tossed it in his backpack.

"How did you know where to find me?"

"Congressman Skinner called a little while ago." She confessed as she sat down on the step above his.

"Oh.  And yes, my brilliant career did start here on these steps.  Leo came to see me and guilted me into going to Nashua to hear the relatively unknown Jed Bartlet speak."

"He guilted you into going to New Hampshire, how?"

"Something about 'that's what people do for old friends of their father's'.  Total guilt trip."

"Yeah, but look what happened."

"Exactly, look what happened" whispered Josh as he pointed to his chest.  Then he took Donna's hand and brought it up to his chest.  Her fingers could feel the scar through his plaid cotton shirt.  She traced the scar with her finger before reaching to lift his chin up so she could look him in the eye.  His big brown eyes were full of sadness and unshed tears.

"I know what happened, you found the real thing in Jed Bartlet.  You helped get him where he is today and you should be proud of that. Joshua, you were shot and it was horrible, you almost died and nothing can change that.  But that was something that happened to you.  That's not who you are.  That incident doesn't define you.  You will not be known as the guy who got shot for the rest of your life.  You've done so much more that you will be remembered for.  And there's so much more than you haven't even accomplished yet.  What started here on these steps is far from over.  You've worked so hard over the past few months, to get your life back in order.  To make sense of what happened and to move on.  I know you've had a rough few days and as the anniversary approaches things will get even harder.  But remember, you have friends you can count on, me, Sam, Leo, even Toby.  Lean on us.  Don't try to be stronger than you are.  Ask for the help you need.  Take things one step at a time, one foot in front of the other"

Josh couldn't help but giggle.  He gave Donna a weak smile, just enough to show a hint of the famous Joshua Lyman dimples.

"Thanks, you always know the right thing to say.  You're pretty scary"

"Oh great, before I was nagging and fussing and now I'm scary" teased Donna as she gave him a friendly swat on the arm.  "So now what, you wanna go back to the office?"

"Not particularly, do I have to?"

"Nope"

Josh gave big sigh of relief. He put his elbows on the step above him and stretched his long legs out on the steps below.  Donna sat on his left side, a step above him.  They sat in silence for a while, each lost in their own thoughts. Josh heard Donna sigh loudly and her leaned his head back to look at her.

"You ok?" he asked his eyes full of concern for her.

"Fine, I was just thinking" she said and she reached out to ruffle his hair.  A gesture that made him feel both comforted and a little uneasy.  They were, after all, sitting on the steps of the Capitol.  As if she suddenly remembered where they were and who they were Donna withdrew her hand quickly and tried to act as if running her fingers through her boss' hair was something she did everyday.  True, she thought about it most everyday but it wasn't an impulse she acted on very often.  

The silence that followed probably should have been awkward.  But it really wasn't.  Both of them knew things were changing between them.  That realization both thrilled them and scared them both to death. So there they sat, Josh, I wouldn't stop for a beer, Lyman and Donna, I wouldn't stop for red lights, Moss, side by side as close as they could be without really touching.  Oh sure, their bodies made contact every few minutes, Josh would tilt his head back and brush against her leg, she would talk with her hands and accidentally brush her hand against his shoulder.  Those "accidental" touches were something they had come to count on, something that made their days more enjoyable.  It was just how they were with each other; they were both physical people and it showed.  Both of them were worried it was starting to show too much.

"Hey, Donna, as nice as this is, these steps are a little hard on my hip" he said as he got up slowly.  He limped down the few steps to the landing and stiffly walked around for a minute, his face wrinkled in pain.  It was all Donna could do to stay where she was and not run down and take him into her arms.  Instead she stuffed her small purse in his backpack and slung the pack over her shoulder.  She descending the few steps and motioned for him to follow her.  They walked to the parking lot and got into his car.  It only took a few minutes of convincing on her part for him to let her drive.

Traffic was bad, as usual.  Josh squirmed in his seat in an effort to get comfortable.  Donna kept one eye on him and one eye on the road but said nothing.  The drive that should have taken 15 minutes stretched into half an hour and Josh dozed off 6 blocks from his apartment.  Donna pulled into his parking space and gently nudged him awake. She grabbed his backpack and opened the door for him.  They walked up to the door in silence.

"You, uh, wanna come in for a while" stuttered Josh as he put the key in the door.

"Sure" smiled Donna as she handed him the backpack and followed him into his apartment.

Although Donna had been in Josh's apartment countless times she felt a little nervous. She knew nothing was going to happen, Josh didn't feel well and besides, she wasn't entirely convinced that they should continue in the direction they were headed.  They were best friends and the thought of ruining that for a night of what she was sure would be great sex, well; she wasn't ready to risk their friendship.

"Donna, Donna" 

Josh's voice broke through her thoughts and she saw him wave his hand in front of her face. He broke into a goofy grin.

"Everything ok?"

"Fine" said Donna as she walked towards the kitchen blushing.

She got two bottles of iced tea out of the fridge and returned to the living room.  Josh was sprawled out on the couch trying to get comfortable.  She handed him a bottle and knelt down in front of the couch.

"Can I get you anything, you look really uncomfortable" she asked trying not to fuss over him too much.

"I am" he admitted with a sigh.  "The ice worked earlier, I'll try it again, there's an ice pack in the freezer.  And some Advil, it's on the kitchen counter."

Donna came back a minute later with ice and Advil. Josh sat up and motioned for Donna to sit on the end of the couch.  She sat, propping her feet up on the coffee table.  He grabbed a pillow and set it in her lap.  He settled down on his right side with the ice pack under his hip and his head in her lap.  A gesture that caught her off guard for a split second.  He tucked his right hand under his head and draped his left arm over her knees.  He gave the most contented sigh Donna had heard come out of his mouth in days.  As he snuggled down into the pillow she gave up on trying to keep herself from enjoying the moment.  She wrapped her left arm around him and brushed back his unruly hair with her right hand.

Within 20 minutes Josh had fallen asleep.  She dozed off and on for a while until the phone rang.  Not being able to reach it without moving Josh she opted to let the machine pick it up.  She heard Leo's voice come on the machine.  

"Hey Josh, it's Leo, uh, just calling to check on you, see how you're doing.  You didn't look so great this morning and I was just, uh, worried.  Let me know if you need anything.  I know these next few days are going to be a bit rough on you.  Don't try to do too much, ask for help.  Let Donna fuss over you, don't push her away.  Guess that's all, see you Monday. Bye"

By the time the machine beeped and turned off Donna had tears running down her face.  As gruff as Leo could be on the outside she knew he loved Josh like a son.  They had a bond that couldn't be broken.  She glanced around for a box of tissues.  Not finding any she was about to use her sleeve when she looked down and saw Josh's handkerchief peeking out from the back pocket of his jeans.  She pulled it out quickly, not wanting Josh to wake up and find her with her hand in his pocket.

She pulled herself together and glanced at the clock, 7:00.  The sun was setting on the city and the room was growing dark.  She reached over and grabbed the remote.  She channel surfed for a while with one eye on the TV and one eye on Josh's sleeping face. His face looked a little more peaceful.  She caressed his cheek, he stirred under her touch.  

His eyes fluttered open and he struggled to focus.

"Hey, what time is it?"

"Almost 7:30, you've been out for almost 2 hours, how are you feeling?"

"I don't know, hard to tell until I get up and walk around"

With those words he sat and ran his fingers through his hair before attempting to stand.  Donna stood first and held out her hand, which he took without complaint.

"Take it slow, ya know, one foot in front of the other" giggled Donna.

"God, why did I have to hum that song?  I'm sure you'll be telling me that about 20 times a day from now on?" asked Josh as he started to slowly pace around the room.  He seemed to be moving a little better than had been earlier.

"For the next few days at least" Donna smiled as she patted his shoulder and passed by him on her way to the kitchen.

Donna stuck her head in the fridge in search of something for dinner.  She should have known from experience that looking in there for food that wasn't in a take out container was a hopeless undertaking.  As usual, she was right.

"OK, since you obviously haven't been shopping lately, something we will talk about later, what do you want to order?" Donna yelled to Josh with her head still in the fridge.

"Pizza?"

"Sounds good to me"

"Pepperoni and sausage?" asked Josh, not holding out much hope that she would agree to that.

"Don't think so, remember what Dr. Griffith said about eating like you were in college.  Mushroom?"

"Fine.  Can I at least have a beer?" asked Josh in a voice that was reminiscent of a five year old asking to stay up late.

"One"

He smirked and walked to the fridge to get a beer.

By 9:00 the pizza was gone and Josh had long ago finished his one beer.  They were sitting at his kitchen table.  Donna was debating what to do, go home, stay and keep him company and thus tempt fate and her own resolve.  She was about to say her goodbyes when Josh took a deep breath and gave he that look that meant he wanted to talk about something important. 

He got up slowly and held out his hand to her.  She hesitated just slightly before grabbing it and following him into the living room.  Dropping her hand he grabbed their jackets and opened the front door.  He led her out onto his front steps.  He sat down sideways on the third step, stretching his legs out in front of him.  She stepped over him and sat one step lower at the opposite end, her long legs stretched out too.  She had planned on waiting for him to speak but he genuinely seemed unable to get his thoughts together.  He started to speak a few times but never got more than a few syllables out.  It broke her heart to see him struggle to put his feelings into words.  She reached up and patted his foot, giggling when she realized he never put his shoes back on.  She absently played with a frayed spot on the hem of his jeans as she struggled to get her own thoughts in some kind of order.

"Want to talk about Tuesday?  What do you plan on doing?  I think staying home is both a good and bad idea.  Good in that you won't have to face reporters or anybody else that might make you even more uncomfortable, and bad in that your absence from the office might be too noticeable.  But the decision has to be yours; you need to do what's best for you, Josh Lyman the guy who's still healing, emotionally and physically, not Joshua Lyman, Deputy Chief of Staff.  Whatever you decide, know I will be with you, literally or figuratively, whatever you want."

Josh just smiled at her for a second before staring off in the distance somewhere over Donna's right shoulder.  He sighed a few times and crossed and uncrossed his arms a few times before trying to speak.  He didn't get past her name before the tears that had been threatening to fall for the last few minutes spilled down onto his cheeks.  Donna scrambled up onto the step next to him as he swung around and faced the street.  She put her arm around his shoulder and pulled him in tight, not caring who or where they were. The way she saw things, she was with her best friend, not her boss, and her best friend was hurting.  She wiped away a few of the tears from Josh's face and one or two from her own cheeks.  He sniffed and reached into his back pocket for his handkerchief.  Donna handed him a tissue from her jacket pocket instead.  He wiped his face and blew his nose.

"So where's my handkerchief?"

"I uh, used it earlier, when I heard Leo's message on the machine." she confessed sheepishly.

"What message?  Leo called? Why didn't you tell me?  And how did you get it out of my pocket?" he laughed a little laugh through his tears.

"Leo called and left an incredibly sweet message on your machine, I got uh, choked up and you don't have any tissues near the couch.  So I took it out of your pocket.  Sorry I forgot to tell you about Leo's call.  He was just checking up on you."

"Oh, ok.  Now..Tuesday...I don't know.  I can't believe it's been a year already. I don't want to stay home but I don't want to face a press room full of reporters either."

"Talk to CJ.  I'm sure she can work something out.  I'm sure Leo and the President won't let you far from their sight that day."

"Great, just what I need" complained Josh.

"Yeah, it is what you need, you need to let others help you.  You don't have to go through anything alone." 

She gave his shoulder one last pat before moving over and putting some distance between the two of them.

Josh leaned over and rested his arms on his knees.  Looking down at his feet he mumbled something Donna couldn't quite understand.

"What, I didn't hear you." asked Donna as she leaned in closer.

"I said I want to go to the Newseum" he exhaled sharply and lifted his head to see her reaction.

Donna faced showed a mixture of surprise, sympathy and understanding.  

"Say something, do you think it's a crazy idea?"

"No, I, uh"  Donna stuttered for a few seconds and decided to confess what she had done while he had been in the hospital after the shooting. "A few days before you came home from the hospital last year I went there, to see where it happened.  Sam took me, I asked him not to tell you.  I had to go and see for myself.  I can't explain why...I"

"So you understand why I want...why I need to go?"

"Yes, I do.  And if you want me to...I mean I can..."

"Donna"  He reached over and tipped her chin towards him.  "Would you go with me?"

She could only nod, yes.

They sat in silence for another few minutes until Josh started yawning.  Donna took him by the hand and led him back inside.  She helped him out of his coat and gently pushed him towards the bedroom.  She went in the kitchen to get him a glass of water and some Advil.  She knocked softly on the door to the bedroom.

"Come in"

Donna pushed the door open and went in.  Josh was standing in front of the dresser pulling out some sweats for her to wear.  He had gotten undressed and was wearing an undershirt and a pair of plaid boxers.

"Here, there's a blanket and a pillow in the..."

"Josh, I know where everything is"

She took him by the hand, handed him the Advil and steered him towards the bed.  She pulled back the comforter and he climbed in bed.  Sitting down on the edge of the bed she watched him quietly as tossed and turned, trying to get comfortable. 

"Donna, I'm sorry.  Did you want me to take you home?  I can throw my clothes back on, I wasn't even thinking."

"Josh, no.  I'm fine and you need to get some sleep.  Close your eyes, you, uh, want me to stay until you fall asleep?"

"Yeah" he whispered.

"Josh?"

He turned and looked at her.

"Do you still have nightmares?"

"Sometimes, I have had a few these past couple weeks" he admitted softly.

"OK.  Just relax, I'll be in the other room if you need anything"

"Thanks"

He closed his eyes and pulled the comforter up before rolling over on his stomach.  Donna hesitated for a minute before reaching over and rubbing his back gently.  He murmured his approval and within a few minutes was fast asleep.  Donna watched him sleep for a while.  Then she leaned over to kiss his cheek and brush back his hair before turning out the light.

She got a blanket and pillow from the hall closet and took them out to the couch.  She watched TV for a while before falling asleep herself.

Josh woke at 7:00 the next morning to the sound of rain.  Stretching gingerly he prepared himself for the pain and stiffness that usually accompanied the damp weather. It was there all right, although not as bad as it had been over the past few days.  He padded into the living room to look for Donna.  She wasn't on the couch; the blanket was folded up along with his sweats.  He followed the scent of coffee into the kitchen and found her reading the paper.  Her hair was damp from the shower and she had pulled it back in a ponytail.  He couldn't help but notice how young and innocent she looked.  Her face had that fresh scrubbed look to it and she smiled when she saw him in the doorway.

"Hey, you want some coffee?"

"No, I'll just share yours" he smirked as he turned one of the kitchen chairs around and straddled it, in the typical "guy" fashion.  He reached over to take a sip of Donna's coffee.

"Feeling any better this morning?"

"A little I guess, the weather isn't helping any."

"Oh no, you've turned into one of those people who can predict the weather by their aches and pains." chuckled Donna.

"Very funny"

They shared the paper and the coffee like an old married couple.  An image that passed through both of their minds while they were sitting there.  The rain had started to let up and the sun was peeking through the clouds.  They were both more content and comfortable than they had been in a long time.

"Hey, Donna"

"What" asked still reading Dear Abby.

"This is nice, I could get used to this"

"What, having someone else make coffee for you?" teased Donna; afraid of where the conversation was about to lead.

"No, and could we be serious for just a minute.  This...us...I could get used to it."

Donna put down the paper and looked at him.  She half expected to see that he had been joking.  But his big brown eyes told a different story.  They were filled with adoration and sincerity.

"Joshua, I'm going to say something. I may stumble around a little but let me finish, before you say anything"  

Josh nodded and let her continue.

"I know things are changing between us.  They have been for a while now.  We've both done our best to ignore certain things, certain feelings...don't misunderstand me; I'm not saying I'm not interested in seeing where all of this is leading.  I'm just saying that, right now, you're not in the best place and I don't want us making decisions based on...the fact that right now, you're...uh..."

"Needy, fragile, hanging on by a thread?" whispered Josh, completely serious.

"Something like that.  Do you understand what I'm trying to say?"

"Yeah, I do.  And I respect your feelings and deep down I know that now is not the time to make any important decisions.  So for now, we can stay as we are, we can still be...what the hell are we anyway?" mused Josh.

"Damned if I know" confessed Donna.

"Fine, then we'll just be 'us'".

"Sounds good, so go take a shower and you can take me back to my car"

"What, you're not coming in to work today?"

"No, it's Sunday and you really don't need to go in either.  Remember, I keep your schedule, you don't have anything that needs immediate attention."

"Fine, so you wanna do something today?"

"Would you understand if I said no"?

"Yeah, no problem" he said.

Josh stood to head to the bathroom, he got as far as the doorway when he turned back, walked over to Donna and kissed her forehead.

"Thank you, for everything"

"You're more than welcome, now go, take a shower" she said as she gave him a shove in the direction of the hallway.

An hour later they were sitting in Josh's car in the White House parking lot.  Neither seemed to be in a hurry to get on with their day.  But Donna held fast to her decision not to spend the day with him.

"So Tuesday, you want to go after work?"

"Yeah, maybe leave early and go over.  I'm not exactly sure what I think going over there will accomplish, but it's something I have to do."

She took one look at those puppy dog eyes and for a split second all her resolve took leave and she leaned forward to kiss him.  As her lips met his in a tender and innocent kiss her better judgment took over and she ended the kiss quickly.  They sat there, foreheads touching for a minute until she pulled away.  Smiling once more she put her hands on his cheeks and tipped his head down so she could kiss his forehead.

"I'd better go.  Promise me you'll take it easy today, no work"

"I promise" said Josh, placing his hand over his heart.  "I'll see you in the morning"

It took all of Donna's will power to get out of the car and leave him by himself.  But deep down she knew she was doing the right thing.  They needed to have some distance between them.  With how high their emotions were running and how strong her desire to comfort him was she knew that if they spent any time alone together things would head in a direction that neither of them were quite ready for.  She got out quickly and shut the door behind her.  She stood by her car as she watched him drive away.  He blew her a kiss and flashed her the famous Lyman dimples as he turned out of the lot.

She whispered towards the car as it turned the corner and disappeared from her sight. "Take care Joshua, one step at a time, one foot in front of the other.  I love you"

And with those words she admitted it, she was in love with Joshua Lyman.

THE END

**Sequel:** "In the Blink of an Eye"

  



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